Confessions of a Mediocre Widow

October 28, 2013
At 31, the author of this heartfelt and surprisingly humorous memoir is the happily married mother of three children under the age of five. In the very first pages, however, her world turns upside down when her 34-year-old husband dies from a brain injury following a motorcycle accident. But the grim and shocking opening (she spends three days in the ICU with her husband, emerging as a widow) is followed by an ultimately uplifting story, and thanks to Tidd’s keen sense of humor her tale never becomes maudlin. Instead, she invites readers to come along on her journey of self-discovery, traveling through the stages of grief, healing, and repair, from a state of disbelief and denial to an acceptance and even celebration of life and its capacity to change “in the blink of an eye.” Although Tidd attempts to be “the perfect widow,” she soon finds that putting pressure on herself is not the answer. So whether she is practicing “retail therapy,” facing a meltdown with her youngsters at Costco, or eventually dating, she learns to give herself a pass on perfection. Though the painful loss of her husband is palpable, Tidd eventually realizes that the freedom to find herself again is actually an opportunity for growth. Widowers and other readers will find inspiration and useful advice in her candid story (and in the closing “Tips for Widow(ers) and Those Who Support Them” section).

December 15, 2013
"I spent my eleventh wedding anniversary planning my husband's funeral." So begins Tidd's emotional memoir of coping with life after becoming a single mother with three children at the age of 31. One of the greatest innovations of the Internet age is how it has facilitated people connecting with other people who have similar interests. One example is the online support group; no matter the nature of support required, there's likely an online group focused on that need. The author discovered this when, one summer morning in 2007, her husband was injured in a traffic accident; as his condition went from bad to worse, she had to make the decision to let him die. Heartbroken and in uncharted waters, Tidd turned to the Internet and began sharing her story with others. The "Widdahood" website was born, and she became a national speaker on grief, coping strategies and the benefits of organ donation. This book is an extension of these efforts, but the author goes farther and creates a narrative out of her struggles with coping, managing the affairs following her husband's death, and finding new ways to look at old beliefs. Few stones are left unturned: Tidd found herself the target of judgments about the grieving process, and despite multiple resources designed to support her, she was often confused and lost. At the end of the book, the author also provides tips for supporters of widows and widowers on such topics as memorializing, coping, setting milestones, dating, moving forward and "What to Say (and What Not to Say) After Loss" (don't say: "This was part of God's plan" or "I know how you feel"). Tidd combines indignation and sarcasm with humility, and the result is a moving, helpful look at how to navigate the difficult times that come with tremendous loss.

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